Texturism Starts at Birth- Jasmine Brown Speaks Out

Have you noticed how quickly conversations about Black baby girls turn to their hair texture and skin tone? This episode dives into the uncomfortable reality of how our community scrutinizes Black girls from the moment they're born, sometimes even before. When Cam Newton's child's mother, Jasmine Brown, spoke out about the constant questioning of her daughter's hair and complexion, she hit a nerve that resonates with countless Black mothers. "Why are y'all so freaking critical of little black girls?" she asked, calling out a practice so normalized we barely recognize it anymore.

The truth is, this obsession with Black girls' aesthetic features isn't just annoying, it's rooted in generations of colorism and texturism dating back to slavery. We've internalized these beauty hierarchies so deeply that we perpetuate them with our seemingly innocent questions: "Does she have hair","What's her complexion", "Is her texture more like yours or his?"

What's most concerning is how these questions prioritize appearance over personality, health, or development. We're subtly teaching our daughters that their worth depends on their curl pattern and skin tone before they can even understand words. And when someone like J Brown calls it out, they're often gaslit or accused of exaggerating. 

As both a hair professional and a mother, I've seen both sides of this dynamic. I've caught myself comforting moms worried about their baby's hair growth and wondered about my own daughter's features during pregnancy. This episode isn't about shame but awareness. Our daughters deserve to be celebrated for who they are, not what grows from their scalps.

Ready to break this cycle? Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. And if these conversations matter to you, consider supporting this self-funded podcast by clicking the link to buy me a coffee. Every contribution helps keep these crucial discussions going.

Chapters

• 0:00 J Brown's Viral Experience
• 1:44 Hair Obsession and Cultural Conditioning
• 3:36 Personal Experience as a Mom
• 6:21 Backlash and Community Gaslighting
• 7:50 Breaking the Cycle Forward
• 8:32 Support the Podcast

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

You guys? Let me know if this is a real thing. Other moms who have daughters, black daughters, people are so obsessed with their skin color and their hair texture. From the moment people found out I had a girl, they were like, does she have hair? Does she have hair? And I'm like no, not really. She was bald-headed. She just had two little pieces in the front and then like, oh, she's going to have a lot of hair, she's going to have a lot of hair, she's gonna have a lot of hair. The bald ones always have a lot of hair and it's like, okay. And then it's like, when her hair started to come in, they're like, oh, I wish her hair so curly. Blah, blah, blah. Like I wonder if she's gonna have your texture, if she's gonna have your hair, or she can have cam's hair. What color is she like? What's her complexion?

Speaker 1: 0:43

Why are y'all so freaking critical of little black girls? It's disgusting. She's a baby. Oh, it's. How's her texture of curls, though? Like? Is it like? Is it like yours or is it more like his? What is wrong with y'all?

Speaker 2: 1:04

whoo. Y'all heard that from j Brown, cam Newton's child's mother, and if you're just tuning in, welcome back to Hair. What I'm Saying? I'm your host, kenetra, and today we're diving into exactly why her words struck such a nerve. She's not exaggerating, she's not seeking attention, she's not making it up. This is real and it's something that's been ingrained in our culture for generations the obsession with black hair, black skin and especially how it shows up in our daughters from the moment they are born.

Speaker 2: 1:33

Let's just sit with that for a second, because tell me why the first questions people ask about a baby girl have nothing to do with her health, her smile, her laugh, her little personality. I mean, it do, but it's not the focus. It's usually around aesthetics like hair, what grade it is, you know, is it like mommy's, is it like daddy's? It's just not normal. It is definitely conditioning and it's not new. This comes straight out of colorism and texturism, out of slavery days, when skin tone and hair texture determined who was considered desirable or acceptable, who was the house slave, who was the field slave, and what hurts the most is that it didn't stop with them. We've carried it right into our own culture. We repeat the same questions, the same judgments. And now it's our babies who feel it, before they can even talk. I see it all the time in my chair Moms bringing in little girls worried about why their daughter's hair isn't growing fast enough or why it doesn't look like their siblings texture when they have the same mom and dad, the comparison. I can only imagine the emotional impact of the child with the less desirable hair and listen, I get it. Society has made us think hair and its texture equals beauty and if your child doesn't have it, something is wrong. The child is inadequate, they're going to get bullied and all of the unhealthy emotional thoughts that come into mind whenever we are just kind of one wanted to keep our children safe, or not even kind of. That's the goal to keep them safe from the stereotypes of what the beauty standard has been curated around. So yeah, it definitely becomes a worry and a concern. Yeah, it definitely becomes a worry and a concern. I've even caught myself trying to comfort moms by saying well, babies born with less hair usually have the most later, especially when they have a bald baby, and yeah, it gives them a little relief in the moment. But why do we even feel the need to say that? Or why do I feel the need to say that? Rather, why do we act like a baby with no hair is a crisis, y'all. Bald babies are normal. Babies with two strands are not normal. And a baby with kinky curls, coils, waves, whatever all normal.

Speaker 2: 3:55

Before my own daughter was born, I can admit that even I was wondering if she would have hair not concerned with the texture or curl pattern, just if she would have it. I wasn't obsessing, but as a mom you start imagining your child's little features and wondering what comes from you, what comes from their dad. But the first aesthetic feature I was thinking about was definitely her hair, and I don't know if that was rooted in my upbringing conditioning, but I love hair. As a professional, I've always loved hair since I was nine years old, so I believe some of that also is connected to that, on top of some conditioning as well. But I'll never forget when I went in for an ultrasound, the doctor actually showed me her hair follicles in the scan. She already had hair before she was born. I didn't ask if she had hair because I didn't know. You could see hair follicles in the scan. She was just scanning her little head and said, oh look, she has hair. When I was in labor, when her head was crowned and my mom leaned in and said, oh, she has a head full of hair crowned. And my mom leaned in and said, ooh, she has a head full of hair. Now here's the thing my mom didn't obsess over texture either, but she always made it a point to talk about me having a head full of hair when I was a baby. That stayed with me and so, without even realizing it, I carried some of that curiosity into my own pregnancy.

Speaker 2: 5:23

These little comments, even the ones that seem harmless or just a proud mama moment, stick. They become part of the way we think about beauty, the way we measure what's special or desirable, even before the baby arrives. But the moment we start comparing, the moment we start making comments, we're planting seeds, seeds that tell that little girl your beauty is in question. You might not measure up, and by the time she's old enough to understand words, she already knows she's being judged.

Speaker 2: 5:58

Now let's talk about some of the backlash that Jasmine experienced whenever she had uploaded this clip on her social media. I believe it was a stories or a live, I don't know, but it was definitely a social media clip. And here's what blew my mind. When Jasmine said this out loud, when she shared her real experience, people told her she was making it up Black people. I couldn't believe that, because this is a thing in our community and we all know it. They said she was reaching and she just wanted attention. And this is the gaslighting we do in our community. Somebody speaks up about what we know is happening and instead of facing it, we dismiss it.

Speaker 2: 6:42

Now, to be fair, some people did come to her defense. Some moms were in her comments saying no, sis, you're not lying. I've heard the same thing since my daughter was born. They backed her up. We want to pretend this obsession doesn't exist because it's ugly. It forces us to look at the ways we participate in it. I'm telling you, you put that mirror in someone's face, because when you're around people, they are a mirror and they will expose some of the things you're not ready to work on. And that's all I've seen in the comments. But let's be clear stop acting like this isn't a thing in black culture, because it is. It's been a thing for generations and it's going to stay a thing if we don't call it out Now. I'm not here to shame moms or aunties or grandmas.

Speaker 2: 7:30

A lot of times these comments come from a place of conditioning, not malice, but that doesn't make them harmless. Words stick, and when they stick to little black girls they grow into insecurities that last a lifetime, literally internalize it. So we got to do better. Instead of asking does she have hair, ask how she's doing. Is she sleeping well? What's her little personality like? Celebrate who she is instead of what's growing out of her scalp. Celebrate who she is instead of what's what's growing out of her scalp. Our daughters don't need to grow up thinking their worth depends on their curl pattern, their skin tone or how fast their edges come in. They don't need that weight. Their beauty doesn't need approval, it just is. And if that makes you uncomfortable, good, sit with it, because the more we keep pretending this doesn't exist, the more we pass it on and listen.

Speaker 2: 8:29

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